A Lack of Interest in Sex

Not just a Muslim problem – A lack of interest in Sex

Throughout the life of a married couple there are bound to be pitfalls, dry spells, whatever you call them… and while there may be some politeness still towards each other – the quiet resentment of not seeing each other as sexual beings any more, is going to take it’s toll on any marriage at some point. If you deny that, just wait.

As humans, we seem to assume that our spouses are feeling the same way as us when this is not often the case. I would even make the argument that when sex is the last thing on your mind and you can’t see yourself wanting it for the foreseeable future – that you actually need sex more than you may think. The free ones can also date with escort or escorts and have sex in more sophisticated way.

If you’ve been in a marriage for a long time and the bedroom play has become elusive of late, whether it be for weeks, months or sometimes even years, you’ll know how easy it is to slip into this pattern. What becomes dangerous is that you start to see your spouse as someone who is not a sexual being. People need that part of us to be active. We are naturally sexual beings and when that part becomes dormant, it becomes a danger if directed towards anyone other than our spouse.

Islam and Sex… It’s still sex

Sex is fun… sure… keeps us fit… yes… These are true, but it also regulates us. We keep a healthy balance of hormones when we are having regular sex. This in turn regulates our moods and quite literally helps to keep us who we are. Sex releases dopamine and serotonin which both make us feel good, but perhaps more important than these, is a chemical called oxytocin, a non-a-peptide hormone that is produced in our brain and gives us that feeling of “sacred bonding” with our better halves when we have sex.

This is a beautiful gift that has an incredible benefit – you know the feeling when you’ve had sex and you crave to be around your spouse, to hold them, to love them, to think of them as amazing and forever yours? That feeling is partly induced by this magic hormone. Even better is that it’s not exclusive to men or women, we both have it!

It seems to turn on a heart function that we all crave and it’s not a permanent effect – we have to have sex again every now and then, to release this drug that reminds us that our partner is not just another person in our lives, not to be looked at like another family member, this is a special person, a sexual being that is the only one capable of taking you to that sacred place where the rest of the world (just for a moment) fades in significance while your breath gets faster, heart beats faster, skin becomes sensitive as you crave to feel them so close to you that only being intertwined and part of each other can satisfy that need. That undeniable urge to please them to the point where they are lost in their own minds, becomes a kind of obsession as your hands and lips move frantically to take it all in.

Sex Advice

If you are the partner in the relationship that is frustrated at the lack of bedroom play from your side or theirs, how can you fix this?
Well, I’m going to give you some very practical advice.

Firstly, for the most part, we live extremely unhealthy lives compared to what they should be… You won’t believe how much of our desire is stunted by a bad diet. Of course smoking and drinking are terrible for this sort of thing, but really as Muslims you shouldn’t be doing either.

Drinking is awful of course, but smoking will weaken a sex drive, impede blood flow, weaken erections and kill stamina.
Fatty foods and too much bread are big culprits too. Before you roll your eyes, hear me out. I won’t tell anyone to quit the fast food all together, but there are quick fixes you can use.

Get your spouse (or you if you need a boost), to drink a glass and a half of warm lemon water in the morning before anything else, buy (if you don’t have a juicer at home) beetroot juice and carrot juice and drink them instead of one of your meals everyday (no added sugar, but beetroot and apple is fine).

Do some simple squats for a couple of minutes a day (surely that’s not too much to ask!) and while you’re at it – research “the plank” exercise and do that everyday – also just a couple of minutes – to build up your core (guys this increases endurance).

These are a great start – and obviously it is better to eliminate unhealthy foods further, eat more fruit (watermelon is great for the sex drive too!) and vegetables and drink more water and consume less dairy, but don’t rush yourself or you’ll fall off the wagon and feel terrible about it.

More sex tips for Muslims

Invest in some multivitamins and take one of these per day and supplement your diet with l-arginine. L-arginine will increase nitrate levels and encourage blood flow… This little gem when combined with a refreshed diet, will have you desiring and ready for action. Consult your physician before any major changes in supplements or diet.

There are – of course – thousands of other things you can do – communication is sometimes all that is needed, but I wanted to give you some practical steps to take, along with the reasons why you should take them. I hope it helps you and your partner or a professional partner (escort or escorts), get closer, enjoy each other and regulate each other’s needs and desires.

Feel free to ask any questions. There’s plenty more where that came from.

Read more in our Blog.

Dumb Things Society Imposes On You

Society can be a lot of pressure as it is similar to a circus, trying to tame wild animals and turn them into sheep. Few of the typical stupid or dumb things society imposes or condemns on us are:-

Getting a good education

According to societal norms, getting a good and formal education to be deemed worthy in society standards, means attending top schools, colleges and universities, although there is nothing wrong in gaining a good education, there should not be any pressure to learn from classrooms only. They should understand that you can gain essential characteristics, moral values, and experiences beyond the borders of a classroom by exploring, traveling and meeting other people. Equal weight should be given to out of class exposure as well. Most important of all, society will always try and tame your spirit, do not let it, do what you feel like is right and what is beneficial for you, in order for you to live a pleasant, satisfied and fulfilled life.

Dumb Things Society Imposes On You

Having a proper job

Often, when people are young, especially at their school going age, they are filled with ridiculous ambitions and will do anything to achieve them. However, during such tender ages, teachers, parents and others who succumb to societal pressure shatter such aspirations of children and instead tell them to earn a stable living by having a proper job. We don’t need such people, but instead require talented big dreamers who go want to live a life doing something they love, even if it means living a less stable life. Tend to hold on to your dreams and pursue them no matter what.

Owning a beautiful house and other materialistic possessions

Unfortunately, today, the world is more about impressing others than pleasing yourself. Again, societal norms push people to own large homes, cars and other things as they are considered significant. However, the truth is, such materialistic possessions do not bring inner peace and satisfaction. Fact is you can be happy by having a roof above your head, displaying good characteristics such as gratitude and appreciation and pursuing meaningful goals and relationships.

Getting married

Societal norms state that good people are married off at a rather early age and stick on to one such spouse, regardless of how that relationship is going whether the individuals are happy or not. Truth is it is a vague concept as society does not correctly embrace the idea of love and sex. Reality is it depends on how you feel about marriage and whether you are ready for it, or are happy living a single, tension free life.

Having children

Another rather rubbish norm portrayed by society is having children immediately after marriage. As stated earlier, it depends on the situation and comfort of the couple rather than succumbing to societal pressure for having children. The best way to deal with such stress is to stand your ground and not let such norms and age-old traditions affect you in any way. End of the day, it is about your life and not theirs.

How To Be A Good Citizen

Become patriotic

True and desirable citizens are quite patriotic to their nation. Essentially, patriotism means feeling a sense of pride, displaying unquestioning loyalty while upholding the cultural values of the country. However, bear in mind that nationalism is different from patriotism as the nationalism means their nations is more superior and dominant than other nations. You can integrate the patriotic spirit in you by following the rules and regulations of the land, paying taxes, not engaging in unlawful and criminal activities, reading about your nation’s history and cultures, flying the national flag and learning the national anthem.

Follow the personal qualities of a good citizen

A person is labeled a good citizen by the virtue he or she upholds. Such attributes include integrity, honesty, respect, responsibility, tolerance, compassion, kindness, courtesy, courage, belief in the justice system and discipline. Its citizens judge a nation, so tend to become a role model for other citizens by adopting it first.

Be productive for society

His or her level of productivity characterizes a good citizen contributed to society. For example, good citizens share their knowledge, wisdom, skills and other abilities to others in the community.

Be proactive in your community

Tend to become active to in your community by helping fellow community members, redressing issues within and quite simply making the community a better place to live by participating in social gatherings and events beneficial to the society.

Be well informed

To keep up with your nation and society in terms of events happening both locally, national and international, read informative pieces of literature about the country and its history, global news, local and national news.

How To Be A Good Citizen

Become vigilant

A nation is governed and driven by the government that rules it. However, a good citizen is one who ascertains and sees that the government bodies keep up their duties in helping with civic responsibilities, guiding citizens of the nation and acting within rules and regulations, all for the benefits of citizens. In cases, when such bodies go beyond their jurisdiction, do not perform said duties, it is imperative you, as a good citizen speak up about such failure of duties and atrocities performed by the government. Overall, good citizen analyses decisions logically and critically.

Be well rounded

A good citizen always upholds and stays true to his share of civic duties needed to be performed, such as recycling, paying bills and taxes on time, conserving water and electricity, avoid going into excessive debt, maintaining a clean environment and avoid littering and working for the betterment of self and nation.