Not just a Muslim problem – A lack of interest in Sex
Throughout the life of a married couple there are bound to be pitfalls, dry spells, whatever you call them… and while there may be some politeness still towards each other – the quiet resentment of not seeing each other as sexual beings any more, is going to take it’s toll on any marriage at some point. If you deny that, just wait.
As humans, we seem to assume that our spouses are feeling the same way as us when this is not often the case. I would even make the argument that when sex is the last thing on your mind and you can’t see yourself wanting it for the foreseeable future – that you actually need sex more than you may think. The free ones can also date with escort or escorts and have sex in more sophisticated way.
If you’ve been in a marriage for a long time and the bedroom play has become elusive of late, whether it be for weeks, months or sometimes even years, you’ll know how easy it is to slip into this pattern. What becomes dangerous is that you start to see your spouse as someone who is not a sexual being. People need that part of us to be active. We are naturally sexual beings and when that part becomes dormant, it becomes a danger if directed towards anyone other than our spouse.
Islam and Sex… It’s still sex
Sex is fun… sure… keeps us fit… yes… These are true, but it also regulates us. We keep a healthy balance of hormones when we are having regular sex. This in turn regulates our moods and quite literally helps to keep us who we are. Sex releases dopamine and serotonin which both make us feel good, but perhaps more important than these, is a chemical called oxytocin, a non-a-peptide hormone that is produced in our brain and gives us that feeling of “sacred bonding” with our better halves when we have sex.
This is a beautiful gift that has an incredible benefit – you know the feeling when you’ve had sex and you crave to be around your spouse, to hold them, to love them, to think of them as amazing and forever yours? That feeling is partly induced by this magic hormone. Even better is that it’s not exclusive to men or women, we both have it!
It seems to turn on a heart function that we all crave and it’s not a permanent effect – we have to have sex again every now and then, to release this drug that reminds us that our partner is not just another person in our lives, not to be looked at like another family member, this is a special person, a sexual being that is the only one capable of taking you to that sacred place where the rest of the world (just for a moment) fades in significance while your breath gets faster, heart beats faster, skin becomes sensitive as you crave to feel them so close to you that only being intertwined and part of each other can satisfy that need. That undeniable urge to please them to the point where they are lost in their own minds, becomes a kind of obsession as your hands and lips move frantically to take it all in.
If you are the partner in the relationship that is frustrated at the lack of bedroom play from your side or theirs, how can you fix this?
Well, I’m going to give you some very practical advice.
Firstly, for the most part, we live extremely unhealthy lives compared to what they should be… You won’t believe how much of our desire is stunted by a bad diet. Of course smoking and drinking are terrible for this sort of thing, but really as Muslims you shouldn’t be doing either.
Drinking is awful of course, but smoking will weaken a sex drive, impede blood flow, weaken erections and kill stamina.
Fatty foods and too much bread are big culprits too. Before you roll your eyes, hear me out. I won’t tell anyone to quit the fast food all together, but there are quick fixes you can use.
Get your spouse (or you if you need a boost), to drink a glass and a half of warm lemon water in the morning before anything else, buy (if you don’t have a juicer at home) beetroot juice and carrot juice and drink them instead of one of your meals everyday (no added sugar, but beetroot and apple is fine).
Do some simple squats for a couple of minutes a day (surely that’s not too much to ask!) and while you’re at it – research “the plank” exercise and do that everyday – also just a couple of minutes – to build up your core (guys this increases endurance).
These are a great start – and obviously it is better to eliminate unhealthy foods further, eat more fruit (watermelon is great for the sex drive too!) and vegetables and drink more water and consume less dairy, but don’t rush yourself or you’ll fall off the wagon and feel terrible about it.
More sex tips for Muslims
Invest in some multivitamins and take one of these per day and supplement your diet with l-arginine. L-arginine will increase nitrate levels and encourage blood flow… This little gem when combined with a refreshed diet, will have you desiring and ready for action. Consult your physician before any major changes in supplements or diet.
There are – of course – thousands of other things you can do – communication is sometimes all that is needed, but I wanted to give you some practical steps to take, along with the reasons why you should take them. I hope it helps you and your partner or a professional partner (escort or escorts), get closer, enjoy each other and regulate each other’s needs and desires.
Feel free to ask any questions. There’s plenty more where that came from.
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